So, it’s time. It’s time that I open my mind and try to remember the days leading up to the birth of my son. For so long, I have just pushed it aside, jokingly talking about it to girlfriends who share stories of amazing pregnancies while we laugh at everything I went through. I think it has been my way of coping. But I think it’s time I begin to process.
Sunday, January 17th we went to church and did our usual eat with family and head over to my parents’ routine. My mom has a blood pressure cuff and more often that ordinary people, we sit around and take our blood pressure. I had been going to my regular OB appointments and my blood pressure was always right around 110/70; so nothing to worry about. However, this particular day my blood pressure was around 135/90. I had an OB appointment the next day so we figured it would be checked again there.
Monday, the 18th I went to see Melissa, my fabulous NP/CNM. I had the best nurse in the world also, Julie. Julie took my blood pressure twice that day…both times it was in the 130’s/high 80’s again. Melissa wasn’t too worried yet, thinking maybe it was a stressful day, so she just told me to take it every morning at home. I did. Every day, it slowly rose. On Friday morning, it was 145/90. I didn’t think much of it, just headed off to work. I started to get a terrible headache though so I called my doctor. I told them my BP reading and they said, “how soon can you get here?” So, I told my boss, and headed to the doctor’s calling Joel on the way. When I got to the doctor, they got me back pretty quickly and took my BP again. Yep, still 145/90. They told me to lay on my left side and they turned the light off for me. Then Melissa came in and told me I needed to go to the hospital. Luckily, the hospital was directly next door and we had just pre-registered that week! Because no one knew I was coming, we sat in the waiting room for a long time, Joel had gotten there by this time, and I honestly didn’t really know what to think about what was going on. Finally, I was checked in to Labor and Delivery and was hooked up to a monitor and given the orders to do a 24-hour urine test. Basically, I had to empty everything I peed into a container for 24 hours. That container would then be checked for protein in my urine to see if my liver was having any issues. I was in the hospital through Sunday, being monitored, having blood taken, and just resting. My BP stabilized and I was sent home on strict bed rest. At this point, I still wasn’t really sure what was going on. I knew that I had a diagnosis of pre-eclampsia, but I didn’t really fully know what that meant. I monitored my weight and BP every morning. I also started having 2 OB appointments a week where they did a stress test, ultrasound, and whatever else needed to be done to make sure Jeremiah was not in any distress.
On Monday, February 1st, I went in for an OB visit and stress test. I failed the stress test because Jeremiah was sleeping away and not moving around. So, I had an ultrasound. Every ultra sound I had, they checked for 4 things: breathing movement, general movement, amniotic fluid levels, and his heart rate. Let me just say, that Jeremiah had the hiccups about 4 times a day, but he loved to scare us by not making any breathing movements during these ultrasounds. Twice, I sat there for more than an hour, moving from side to side, pushing on him, and nothing…so I was wheeled over to the hospital once again. Another 24-hour urine yielding nothing. Another three days in the hospital. And more talk of the fact that they might have to take him at any time. I started to realize how significant this was, how important it was for Jeremiah that I laid in bed all day. How much what I do affects that little life inside of me. I started to think about lots of things in all my free time. I became a little bitter towards people with what seemed like perfect pregnancies. I had been throwing up since about 4 weeks and still was. I couldn’t get out and enjoy any of my maternity clothes, instead I laid in bed in Joel’s over size t-shirts and comfy pants. I didn’t qualify for short-term disability and Joel was still in school. We were racking up the hospital bills. People would come and pray for me to get better and I would just get a little angry. I knew that this was not a cup that was going to be taken from me. I knew that I wanted people to pray for my attitude and all my interactions but I couldn’t say that for some reason. It definitely changed the way I prayed for people.
I had one more stint in the hospital but luckily it was just a day outing and I was back in my bed that night.
Then came the worst of it. Around February 16th, my dad’s birthday, I began to swell more than I had been. I got on the scale and weighed a good 22 pounds more that I had a few days before. I went to the doctor that day, they weighed me on two different scales. Yep, I gained 22 pounds. I officially weighed more than Joel. I told Melissa I had been eating healthy, and she just laughed and said this has nothing to do with you. Whew. I knew on bed rest, it was hard to care for Jeremiah the best I could, so I wanted to make sure I was doing every thing in my power to keep him healthy. Back to the hospital we went. Then came the crippling headache. I had suffered migraines before becoming pregnant, but this one was different. I literally could not see. It felt like some one had duct taped my entire head. I described it has a Yamaka made of spandex about 30 sizes too small. I had lots of time to think about it. Talking out loud hurt my head, talking on the phone hurt my head, seeing any type of screen hurt my head, any light hurt my head. It was terrible. Even my dear mother, who took amazing care of me, hurt my head when she typed away on her laptop. Every sound, light, anything hurt. The only thing that kept me sane was Demerol. It put me to sleep. After 3 days of this headache, the OBGYN on-call decided it was time to induce. The next day, my blood work came back abnormal.
I was scheduled to be induced on that Thursday, February 25th at 37 weeks, but my body was changing for the worse and couldn’t wait any longer. Sunday, February 21st, we started the induction process. Monday morning, I started the pitocin. Monday was a good day. The contractions started but they were easy and not too painful. My headache subsided a little but I continued on stay-dol. The results of my group b strep test hadn’t come back, so I was also on antibiotics. I ended up being positive for group b so that was good. I even watched part of the UK game that night. Melissa took me off the pitocin around 6 to let me eat and shower since I wasn’t progressing. That night, I started the whole process again. Tuesday morning they started the pitocin again around 6 am. The contractions came hard and fast. I labored on my own till about noon when I couldn’t take it any more and I got the epidural. Praise the Lord for epidurals. I then slept for 4 hours. When I woke up around 5:30, the nurse checked me and I was right around 6cm. Melissa came too to see how I was doing. Then she left for a dinner across town but told me they would call her when I was ready to deliver. Soon after, I asked the nurse what it would feel like when I was ready to push. She informed me I would just feel pressure, which I did so she checked me again. This time I was at a 10 cm. That was fast! She put a pillow between my knees and told me not to push.
Melissa was back within half an hour and everything started to move quickly. Except for Jeremiah, who decided he was happy where he was. It was a hard labor. I pushed for almost 2 hours, threw up a lot, heard the OB (who had to be in the room but was standing by my head) scream that I was going to seize multiple times. They took the BP cuff off because it was extremely high but we couldn’t stop now. Melissa told me multiple times I could have a c-section whenever I wanted. But I wanted to deliver him right there. Finally, he came, with his quiet little scream. He came quickly into my arms and I was in love. I knew that it was worth it. 
Quickly, he was taken away and checked by the nurses. My BP was taken and it was really high, although I don’t know the exact numbers. I began magnesium sulfate. First, a bolus, a high dose in the first hour to control my BP then a lower dose over the next 23 hours. The nurse had just told me that the mag-sulfate wasn’t that bad as long as I didn’t need a bolus. Great. I was moved out of L&D and over to ante-partum where the nurses check on you a lot more than in mother/baby. I also began some anti-nausea drugs. Immediately I felt the mag-sulfate. It really does feel like fire going into your skin. But soon, I feel asleep. Around 11 p.m. our pediatrician came in to talk to us. Jeremiah was breathing well. His respiratory rate was 160, not 60-80 like it should be. He thought he needed to go to the NICU and start oxygen. He was having a neonatologist look at him. All of this is very blurry for me, I know I was extremely tired and out of it, so some of these details are filled in. The neonatologist came in soon after and told us Jeremiah was in the NICU. He said there was no question Jeremiah needed to be in there. He told us we should come down and see him to know what he was hooked up to and what was going on. I couldn’t. I couldn’t move or think for that matter. Joel did though. The next morning, they wheeled me down there to see him. Poor baby looked so sad hooked up to everything. He had an IV of antibiotics, and one for nutritional purposes. He was under an oxygen hood. His feet were all wrapped up from being pricked. He had monitors on for breathing rate, heart rate, oxygen and I don’t know what else.
I came off the magnesium sulfate IV on Wednesday night and needed to be moved to the mother/baby hall. I was sad because I had grown to know and love the antepartum unit. My nurses were amazing and I had most of them more than once. Also, since most people are on antepartum for longer amounts of time, you can choose your menu, which is a huge bonus in the hospital! I had a bagel and cream cheese almost every morning instead of mushy French toast or cold eggs. So, they wheeled me over to mother/baby and immediately my new nurse came in to check on me. She took my blood pressure. It was 180/120. So, there were words thrown back between her and the head nurse. She was not happy I had been moved because I needed more attention than they could give. My headache was also coming back. I had sent everyone home except for my sister because I knew Joel needed rest that he wouldn’t be able to get sleeping in a chair again. I just started to cry. I was so tired of not being well. I wanted to feel better. I wanted to be able to work out again, even just to walk again. I was tired of lying in bed. I felt like I had been through so much and now I didn’t even have my baby with me. I wanted to have a “normal” experience. To sleep with my baby in the room, nursing, not pumping through the night. This was the first and really the only time, I became emotional. I felt bad because Catherine was there, but I was so glad she was. I needed someone to know what I was really feeling. I got tired of trying to be strong. That night was a little bit of a mess. My nurse was frustrated, my bed was broken, I was exhausted and wanted to sleep but still needed to pump. That was my low point. The next day I was back on strict bed rest. I only got to see Jeremiah once, which was hard. I longed for him.
Every thing got better from there. My headache finally subsided and I avoided having a CT scan. Melissa kept lowering my BP requirements so I could get out earlier. At first, my BP had to be below 130/90 for me to be released, but on Saturday I was released with my BP at 140/100. And I was fine. Jeremiah continued to get stronger.
On Sunday, we had to go back to the hospital and spend the night with Jeremiah in a room to make sure he was okay without being monitored. It went great. So, on Monday we were able to come home with him. What a journey we had begun.
I am so grateful. I am so blessed.
