I
found out I was pregnant on April 5th.
We
were surprised, once again, since the only time we had been trying to avoid
pregnancy was the previous month so that we would not have a holiday baby. But we were beyond excited that
Jeremiah was going to have a little sibling. I knew that because I developed preeclampsia so early with
Jeremiah that I was at a higher risk of developing it again, but I was hopeful
that this pregnancy would be different.
I
also knew that if everything went the same, it was worth it. I knew I was
willing to sacrifice a lot to bring a healthy baby into this world.
In
June, we found out we were having a girl. I was in shock. It had never crossed
my mind that we might have a girl. When the tech pulled the area between the
legs up on the screen, she asked what we thought. I could not believe there
were no boy parts, I just kept asking again and again to be sure. I could not
believe I would have my Eliza. A girl named after my grandmother who was so
dear to me.
I
was going to the doctor every other week at this point to make sure my blood
pressure and protein were under control.
So when we were planning on going to Kentucky for 3 weeks in August, I
had to make sure the doctor approved. When we came back from our trip, and I
went to my appointment a few days later, on August 26th, my blood
pressure was high. Because I was also experiencing some headaches, I had to
head to the hospital. I was in shock. The doctor had said that he thought the
earliest I would develop preeclampsia would be around 28 weeks. I was only 25
weeks.
I
started a 24 hour urine in the hospital but was able to go home on bed rest
because my pressures came down. On Monday at my follow up appointment, I learned
that the protein in my urine was elevated, and I did indeed have preeclampsia. Thus began bed rest.
Immediately
I had no idea how this was going to work with an 18 month old. I felt so torn
over how I could pick one child over the other. And I grieved for the time I
knew I would lose with Jeremiah.
When my mother-in-law suggested she come down, I was beyond thrilled. God
provided. I love Joel and to think that the woman who helped shaped him would
now help shape my son was amazing. The time when Debbie was here was so
precious. We had so many incredible conversations and I feel like we grew so
close. I would not trade that time
for anything.
I
had a few more short periods in the hospital during September and the beginning
of October…2 afternoons and one overnight trip. But on October 19th,
when I still had a 3 day migraine and seemed to be losing a little vision, I knew
that I might have to stay a little longer. I was admitted to the hospital that
night and was there for the next 5 weeks.
The
first week was absolutely terrible. I had a headache that didn’t allow me to do
anything but lay in the dark. I saw a neurologist who wanted to try a variety
of medicines, most of which made me feel worse. One day, he wanted to try
Reglan, every 15 minutes for 5 hours. It was honestly one of the worst days of
my life. I felt so antsy, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I learned later
from my dad that because of the effects Reglan has, it was used as a drug of
torture for some time. Luckily the headache finally broke.
At
33 weeks, I had steroids for Eliza’s lungs because once again the doctor
thought he would have to deliver. I continued to have elevated protein in my
urine most of the time and to have liver enzymes that went up and down. I also seemed to have times where I
could not control my blood pressure, thus my doctor didn’t think it was a good
idea to let me go home. So I
stayed. At 34 weeks or so, I
started having contractions and dilated to a 3, once again thinking it was
time. But a little IV fluid stopped the labor.
I
saw Jeremiah twice a day, thanks to my mom who brought him up every morning. To
know how sacrificial her love was during this time is humbling. The last 3
weeks I was there, I was able to take wheel chair rides so we would go look at
the helicopter or go outside to this little garden. At night, Joel and I would
go on dates to the cafeteria. I got to know a few of the nurses pretty well and
developed a routine that kept me sane. There were days when I knew I could only
make it to the next hour or minute so I took it moment by moment. I ate 95% of
my meals alone, something that was really hard.
I
spent a lot of time reading and reflecting. God brought me to Psalm 13 and reminded me that in the
hardest times, we can still trust his goodness and his salvation. I used an
ultrasound picture of Eliza as a bookmark to remind myself the prize at the end
of all this. Around 35 weeks, we set a date for induction, knowing that the
baby would most likely be healthy and that I couldn’t continue like this.
But
the next day, the doctor pushed the date back a few days. It was honestly
heartbreaking. To most people 4 days seems so short, but at that point, it felt
like a lifetime. At least we saw the light at the end of the tunnel. So we made
a 10 day countdown on my board and all of the nurses were so supportive.
I
began to get nervous again. With Jeremiah, my induction was terrible. My blood
pressure would not stabilize, and although Jeremiah was delivered by a midwife,
the doctor in the room kept screaming that I was going to seize. It was
incredibly stressful and I had to be on mag sulfate afterward and stayed in the
hospital for another week. I was so nervous it would happen again. The night
before the induction I took my sleeping pill but didn’t really sleep.
At
6 am the next day, November 21st, I was wheeled to a different room
and started the pitocin. At 11 am, I was dilated to 4 and the doctor broke my
water. I also decided to get the epidural at this time even though I wasn’t in
pain yet. I knew I wanted to be as mellow as possible. I’m glad that I did because Joel and I
were able to relax that whole day and just watch TV and enjoy each other. By
5:30 pm, I was only at a 6. I was pretty bummed but knew it would happen at
some point. At 6:40 before shift change, my nurse checked me one more time and
I was a 10, ready to start pushing!
I
was beyond excited because I really loved my nurse and wanted her to be a part
of the delivery. The doctor arrived around 7 and I began to push. At 7:21 Eliza
entered the world, staring at her surroundings. She was healthy as could be and
my blood pressure came down quickly.
I was able to hold her for what felt like forever before they even
bathed her.
It
was amazing. I could not believe that she was here. I could not believe that she was healthy or that I was
healthy. I realized that everything, the bed rest, the hospital stay,
everything was worth it for those moments of bliss as I held my daughter
against my chest for the first time.