"Comparison is the thief of joy." -Theodore Roosevelt
This quote has been running through my mind on replay the last few weeks. It just seems so applicable to life in general, and specifically to life as a mother.
There are so many things that want to steal our joy. So many of them involve comparing ourselves to others. We seem to either think we are better than someone else or we are jealous of them. We are always measuring ourselves against others. Sleep training. Nursing. Discipline. It is a constant battle of our minds to not only be content but to find joy. True joy.
I try to steer WAY clear of this game for a number of reasons. But the main one is that I will never find joy as a mother or in my children if I am constantly comparing myself or them to others.
If I didn't know other babies were usually sleeping through the night by now, I probably wouldn't care that Eliza still wakes up. Only to come into our bed. And she drinks an entire cup of milk. And secretly I kinda love those nighttime cuddles. Because she only stops crying once I am holding her.
If I didn't know what made up a "normal" pregnancy, it would never bother me that bed rest and a lot of medication are a part of mine.
If I choose to find pride in my children, no matter when they walk, talk, count to 20 in 3 languages, or can read the NY Times to me, I will be much happier. And so will my children.
The truth is we have to stop this game. It is not good for us and it is not good for our kids. Know you are the best mother your kids can have, even if you are not able to nurse until kindergarten. Just kidding. Please don't really do that. :) But seriously, we have to have confidence that we were made to do this. We have to listen to ourselves and stop comparing ourselves to everyone else.
We need freedom to not be afraid of judgement for what we do. Whether that is co-sleeping or CIO, nursing or formula, spanking or time-out, there are so many differences that can divide us. But they don't have to. And I refuse to not find joy in what I do as a mother because someone else does it differently.
I hope you can find joy too.
