Pause

Do you ever pause to look around at your life and just breathe? That's where I am today. My house is an absolute mess...a train track that went around our first floor has come apart leaving pieces scattered, other toys are strewn all over the place, the kitchen counters have mail piled high and milk that has yet to be cleaned, dirty laundry sits in the washer while clean laundry waits to be put away, and supplies waiting to be made into birthday decorations cover the table.

And yet, I sit on my bed holding my sweet baby while she sleeps. Every once in a while I catch myself wishing time to go faster as I wait for Joel to get home or the weekend or a holiday or whatever-and I stop to pause. To freeze this moment in time and to stop wishing the time away.

I want to remember this smell of my sweet girl's hair fresh out of the tub, I want to remember the way her little hand grasps my shirt or hair or anything to hold on to while she sleeps, I want to remember the mess-the toys and the crayons and everything else that shows the fun we've had. I want to remember watching Jeremiah as he lines up his cars and carefully stashes his treasures (mostly my old jewelry) in secret places. I want to remember Eliza's sweet voice as she sings every song she has ever heard. I want to remember the way both of them dote on Delia, running to her when she cries and telling her it's okay.

I am so happy where I am right now. There are so many hard moments. There is so much disobedience and fighting. But there is so much more love and joy. And that is where I am choosing to focus in this short pause.